Day One check in

Starting the blog today and thus a weigh in.

229

I’ll weigh myself again in two weeks. In the Paul McKenna system and also with the Bikram yoga approach, the scales are not something one should be checking all the time.  But I’m recording my behaviour, thoughts and activities every day.

Food:

Today was my first day back using Paul McKenna’s golden rules. It’s basically mindfulness about food consumption. Eating when you’re actually physically hungry, eating slowly and really enjoying your food. Being aware of what you eat.

As it’s Day One…it’s really a struggle. My set points for fullness and hunger are all over the place. And my head is so busy it’s hard to concentrate on just eating, the texture, the taste and smell.  But I think I gave it a really good try. I used the techniques to slow down eating, but found myself reading a magazine at supper. A no-no. And I also found myself eating one bite beyond fullness. As if I can’t quite trust myself to gauge fullness…which I suppose is exactly what’s going on.

One cool thing I did today was cooked some potato dumplings that I really wanted at lunch time, but when I tried them I didn’t like them a lot. They were ok, but I didn’t get a lot of pleasure from eating them, so I didn’t. I just scraped them off the plate at the end of the meal.

Water:

I did pretty well with water today. I drank when I thought I might be hungry. But I could do better. I started off the day with a slight dehydration headache….and found it difficult to drink water first thing in the morning.

Activity:

I did Bikram yoga and aqua aerobics. So 135 minutes of exercise. But that’s pretty much it. I spent much of the day just reading and hanging out.

Motivation and self-affirmation:

A big part of the Bikram yoga is meeting your gaze in the mirror. I find that really, really hard. I don’t like looking at myself.  But of course, in Bikram you can’t really avoid it, as there are mirrors EVERYWHERE. Some days I look in the mirror and think ‘powerful warrior’ and some days I see myself and think ‘fat cow’ .  Today I started off with ‘powerful’ during the first breathing exercise. I can start to see the hint of ribs in the mirror and I can see my tightening abdominal muscles. But by the time I  got to the final spinal twist, where my flab is really on display I was back to fat cow again.  By that time I should be proud of myself for what I’ve done, but I was berating myself for what I hadn’t done.

I did try the Paul McKenna mirror exercises this evening. I looked at myself in my underwear and tried to accept my body for where it’s at and where it’s going to take me.

A good thing I noticed today was that I have a pretty intense and sparkling look to my eyes and I like it. Tomorrow I’m looking forward to completing Week 2 of the Couch 2 5 K programme and trying out a yoga class with a teacher who sounds pretty cool.

Day One: or Hello World!

I’m unfit. I’m fat. I’m unhappy. I’m unemployed and I’m in a bad marriage. But I plan to transform my life through Bikram Yoga, generally improving my fitness, changing my relationship with food and one season of women’s rugby.

Why Rugby?

Not entirely sure. But I like the atmosphere. I signed my son up for regular weekend practice. I don’t really understand the rules of rugby. I’m an ‘experiential’ person – so learn best by doing.  A couple of people suggested I give it a try. Why not?  It looks fun.  I’m quite far from doing the rugby specific training. But I am doing the Couch to 5 K programme (free podcasts from the NHS) which gets you running and weight training three times a week to build my stamina and strength.  The Bikram yoga also helps with stamina, flexibility, core strength and grip.

Why Yoga?

A friend suggested it. I gave it a try. She promised me that I could lose a dress size in a month of going 3 to 4 times a week. Not quite sure I have, but when you weigh as much as I do dress sizes are pretty far between.  I have definitely lost inches. But the first time I weighed myself – after almost four weeks of Bikram, I found I’d GAINED 11 lbs.  Freaked me out. I figure I lost  7 of those over the weekend (using a different set of scales) by ensuring I was drinking enough water and taking electrolyte supplements.  Using the same set of scales (at home) I lost another 2 pounds.

I do find the Bikram Yoga pretty addictive. I did a 30 day intro deal and have just bought another 3 months. I’ll reassess then as it’s pretty expensive. But I’d love to get as far as I can in my practice in that time and then roll back to a lower intensity.

Changing my relationship with food?

I’m using the Paul McKenna “I Can Make You Thin” system. I’ve used it before. It really works. But it’s not immune to the power of my intensive self-sabotage and deliberately giving up on the approach.  This time I going to use the 90 day success journal approach.  And I’m going to record it here on a DAILY basis. I’ve always found blogging easier than journalling.  However, due to copyright issues I’ll be recording an amended approach covering.

Food, Water, Exercise, Affirmation and motivation.